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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Martin wonders if it's up to him to bring the sexy in this movie. This script was featured on Cracked, so you can also read it there. FADE IN: INT. IAN HOLM'S HOUSE IAN HOLM sits down to write a book....
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Raiders of the Lost Ark
"At last I've found it... the Golden Furby." FADE IN: EXT. HOMAGE TO JUNGLE SCENES FROM OLD SERIAL FILM ADVENTURES – 1939 ALFRED MOLINA, some OTHER GUY, and THE INDY HAT find a DART in a TREE. ALFRED...
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The Last Stand
"I need Storm and Wolverine down here RIGHT NOW! ...what do you mean, wrong movie?!" FADE IN: EXT. DITCHTURD, ARIZONA Small-town Arizona sheriff ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER wow this is already ridiculous....
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Sound of Noise
Yup, it's a Swedish movie. FADE IN: EXT. THE MEAN STREETS OF SWEDEN Veteran jaded cop BENGT NILSSON arrives at a CRIME SCENE. BENGT NILSSON Okay, what have we got here? Robbery? Murder? Androgynous...
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Let the Bullets Fly
When Chow Yun-Fat hosts Top Chef, shit gets REAL. EXT. CHINA – 1920 GE YOU and his wife CARINA LAU are merrily travelling along in their TRAIN powered by equal parts HORSES, STEAM ENGINE, and HOT...
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Take Shelter
"I know it's extreme, but I REALLY need to catch up on Breaking Bad before the finale." FADE IN: INT. DEPRESSINGLY ORDINARY HOUSE MICHAEL SHANNON and JESSICA CHASTAIN are having breakfast. JESSICA...
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Oblivion
All this time, we were only teaching the Angry Birds how to destroy us. Author's note: Special thanks go out to my wife Barbara, who was (as ever) instrumental in pinpointing the many, many, many...
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Iron Man 3
Marvel Studios decided to throw everyone a curveball and remake "Ted". FADE IN: INT. PROLOGUE - ROBERT DOWNEY JR.'S LAB We see lots of IRON MAN SUITS EXPLODING because as we learn later on, they are...
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Now You See Me
"Good evening and welcome to the First Annual Tron Legacy Awards!!" FADE IN: EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS FOUR MAGICIANS are spied on by a mysterious figure in a GREY HOODIE who is TOO SHORT to be MORGAN...
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World War Z
"Get the sexyfolk out of here NOW!! WE MUST NOT LET SEXY ZOMBIES HAPPEN!!" FADE IN: A NEWS MONTAGE hints at the coming ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE while also introducing the soundtrack by MUSE, painstakingly...
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